More "Glorified Janitor" than "Bouncer", really.
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Best thing I’ve seen tweeted lately. (Courtesy of humanlovesfreckles)

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Most likely to start a twitter feud?

(Source: undergroundairway)

Cite Arrow via hurleyvxv
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x-file:

catazoid:

As promised, here are some pictures of Lyalya’s first walk outside! Look at the bushy little squirrel tail :D the sandpit was her favorite spot! She was extremely excited and threw sand all over the place

this is a fucking squirrel. this is a fucking squirrel with a cat’s head. who is responsible for this

Cite Arrow via you-cant-stop-the-moriparty
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benzedrinehalen:

“average person uses 3 eyeliner pencils a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person uses 0 eyeliner pencils per year. Pete Wentz, who lives in cave & uses over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Cite Arrow via stumptastic
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(Source: 2000ish)

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vvidget:

whiteboyfriend:

local gay couple judges saturday morning runners

if i ever dont reblog this assume im dead

(Source: uzmama)

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drtanner:

suicunesrider:

uneditededit:

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

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not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man. 

Cite Arrow via thatsafakelaugh
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dirkfromstatefarm:

so i got a new follower

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and i must say I love their theme

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I don’t think I’m safe guys…

help..

Cite Arrow via epiicers
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I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just talk to them, you know?
  • Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
  • Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
  • Me: We cool?
  • Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
  • Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
  • Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
  • Me: So...can I get out now?
  • Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
  • Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
  • Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.
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tyleroakley:

6 seconds is not enough.

(Source: weloveshortvideos.com)

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iguanamouth:

together at last

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  • Beethoven: ARE YOU READY TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES?!
  • Audience: *cheers*
  • Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
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f0xyshy:

If Linkin Park plays in the forest and no one is around to hear it, in the end, does it even matter?

Cite Arrow via fallencannibal
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diickhead:

makes a man go broom broom

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americxanhorrorstory:

broom? broom.

americxanhorrorstory:

broom? broom.

Cite Arrow via fallencannibal
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